just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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