"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
