hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
