Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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