I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
