I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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