with your own penis?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
