i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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