uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize