Please, let me fuck your mom
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
