my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
