he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I could fuck to npr.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize