I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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