and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
