How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
