No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You dont lie about slip and slides
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
