I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize