The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
