i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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