I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize