Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
