I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
