no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
