I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
