He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
