I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
