everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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