There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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