She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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