More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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