You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
