Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
