Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
