So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
nutella sex= disaster
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
