Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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