yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
