can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize