My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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