where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
