Already got asked if we're dating
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
