my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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