Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
