So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
