You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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