Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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