Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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