Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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