Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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