i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
