im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize