So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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