where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
