she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
