I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize