Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
