..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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