I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
