Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
