is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
why is half of my head shaved?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize