how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize