You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize