my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
