capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
