do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sorry about my life...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
