Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
