I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the raccoons are back...
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