I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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