I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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