Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
